Kfalls

My relationship with Erik has been great so far, we really do seem to match very well. Living situation will be better soon I'm moving into an apartment with two other people at the end of this month, so that should be exciting, hopefully in the good way, although I will lose having access to a garage which is a bummer. I've signed up to be a Pampered Chef consultant to hopefully help bring in a little more income to make things a little easier on me financially.

 So things have been better, although with that said I'm in a bit of a dilemma right now. Erik got the job in Kfalls and will be moving soon, Kfalls is about 5 hours away from me and our work schedules are going to be totally different from each other. Although he was positive that we can make it work especially since supposedly he has a three day weekend every other week and will be up here during that time I just don't know if I can handle it. I've pretty much have always been the weak link in relationships, to be honest and with the added long distance issues I really feel like I can't hold up.

 On top of that I really feel like a long distance relationship would take an actual commitment, and I don't know if I am ready for that next step up yet. So for the past week I've been debating this and just really not feeling like I can handle it and also feeling like I don't want that kind of a long distance relationship and it makes me feel horrible because he has been so optimistic about it and I can't see it working at all. I've been feeling extra horrible lately because I haven't been able to tell him how I feel about this yet, especially because I don't want him to second guess his decision in moving because it's a great chance for him and it will help him get to where he wants to be and I don't want to be the person that holds him back.

 I don't know, I need to at least suck it up and tell him at least the basics on how I'm feeling right now... I'm just failing at actually opening up that line of communication.