Best Friends

This is another thing I found in "Allies in Healing" by Laura Davis that I found very appropriate because I have been so grateful to have friends like this in my life.
 This one is found on page 63-64 and is information to people who are best friends to a survivor and what they can do to help them.
 The question is: "The survivor in my life is not my spouse and never has been. We are best friends. Our relationship is sisterly, nothing sexual. How can I help her?"

" Weather you are partners whoa re best friends or are "just" best friends, you place a crucial role in the survivor's life. As a best friend, there's a lot you can do to help her. Love her. Remind her that the abuse happened to her; it isn't who she is. tell her why you think she's the best.

 Don't let her withdraw or push you away just when she needs you the most. Insinuate yourself in her life. Track her down and hang in there. Be your irresistible, charming (and sometimes cranky) self.

Bring her flowers. Cook her dinner. Offer to sleep over so you can stay up, listen to music, dance, read poems out loud, cuddle, and talk about your dreams. Let her cry in your arms.

Have adventures together. Encourage her to take risks and dare more.

Call her every day, or every other day. twice or three times on really hard days. Send her postcards with silly pictures on one side and affirmations on the other.

 Tell her it will be okay, that you're sure she can make it through all this.

 You've developed a history with your best friend, and history enables you to be a great meter of reality. You have perspective you can be the inside yardstick. Remind her that she's actually made progress in the last year. Document the specifics. As a best friend, your opinions are invaluable: you can tell her when she's attracted to someone who's dangerous for her, remind her of all the ways she's successfully dealt with panic before, and offer to go with her to visit her brother because you already know how difficult it will be.

 Survivors who have best friends are on very good ground. A survivor can pay a therapist or join a support group (great things indeed), but her best friend is there because of loyalty and love, not because she's being paid or because she shares a particular pocked of agony. With you as a best friend, the survivor gets to learn a lot about genuine love and acceptance.

 If you're not also the survivor's partner, don't belittle your relationship or your importance in her life because you're "only friends." Many survivors have maintained friendships that have been more long-lasting and influential than any of their love relationships. You're a crucial part of her support system. You place an importance role in her life. (And she in yours.)

 Keep your relationship current. Make sure you keep things reciprocal so you'll want to keep being best friends. Ask her for things you need, too.

 Take your commitment to each other seriously. Work on problems or issues that come up between you. Best friends need tune-ups just like other relationships. But don't forget to have fun. She probably doesn't laugh with anybody the way she laughs with you. And sometimes that's the best therapy of all."