Bad Mood

I've been extra frustrated today. I woke up that way, which pisses me off even more because I feel like the morning should at the very least be one of the best times of your day, because it's a new day. Everything is fresh, you should be ready to take on the world, so if I wake up in a bad mood I feel like everything is wrong.
 I'm pretty sure I had a bad dream dealing with Nathan right before I woke up, because I woke up very frustrated with him. I've been trying to have some friendly conversations with him the last few weeks, sending him a text asking how is day is going, things like that. I have gotten no responses form him. It annoys me because if I am sleeping with someone even if we are not in a relationship, I prefer and want that person to at least be a decent or good friend. I want to be able to talk to them often like I would with a normal friend and not just because we are sleeping buddies. I don't want our only form of communication to be only in the bedroom. That makes me feel cheep, like a skank and that I'm just being used.
 I am also annoyed because last night I had to watch one of my best friends be hurt last night by one of her guy friends who promised he would help her prepare for  a test she had today and he flacked out. He came over and told her he had to leave soon after mooching her dinner, and thus he did not have enough time to helper out. All because some of his other friends had just called up asking if he wanted to join them at a concert that was happening that night. He then went on and argued with her and tried to turn the situation around to make him feel better about bailing on her again (he has done this a few times now). Basically he was being a total chauvinistic, take everything he can and not give anything back, fucking pig.
 When I did get home last night I found out one of my little sisters is back wither her ABUSIVE ex-boyfriend. Which is unacceptable on so many levels. For one, she has a little girl, and by being around people like that she is putting that little girl in danger. On top of that she had the chance to get away from him before. She called up our biological dad a few years back and told him what kind of situation she was in and he booked her a flight for that night, got her out of Texas and up to his house where he lived with his most current wife. They also had a plan of action, he was going to help her get a job, and help her get her kid back, because her kid is living with the actual baby-daddy which at this point I am really happy about if she is going to hang around such pathetic human beings. Anyways long story short she ran away from Matt's house and found a way back to Texas and back to the abusive asshole, but after a few more months or a year, I really don't know how long it took her but she finally did break up with him... but now it seems she is back together with him.
 I went off on her, I could not believe she was hanging around this person. I was so angry, even more so I felt like it was my fault. Noel did not get it lucky, her mom is the women who beat me, we was physically and emotionally abusive to me. Although her mom did not beat her own children, she did not give them the best situation to grow up in, and she dated abusive guys herself. Noel did not get to grow up with me always there in her life to help watch over her and keep her safe and to show her what was right and wrong, not like how my little sister Dany did. She did not get a good mother and father, not like Dany and I. I may of had a shitty as biological dad but at least I have my dad, Michael, my mom's 2nd husband and Dany's dad. He helped show me what a true father is suppose to be like and with him and my mom I got see what a good working relationship is suppose to be like. Noel never got that. It also pissed me off more because she lives in Texas, I can't afford to go see her so I can shake some fucking sense into her head and teach her that she deserves so much better.
 On top of all that I have been feeling like I live in a chaotic mess of a house. the dogs have not adapted to having a baby in the house and are now acting way out of hand. They brake out and run away every chance they get. The pee and shit all over the house and yes they at least were house trained. On top of all that it keeps getting worse. They have shown that this is not a good living situation from them and it s not for us humans either but Sadie will not rehome them even though she knows that is what is going to be best for everyone. On top of that the longer I live with this colicy baby the more I start to believe that I never want to have children. Where as before I was pretty sure I wanted one someday if things worked out. Now though... nope, not at all. I'm pretty sure it would break me if I ended up having a colic kid, I do not know how Sadie does it because it would break my heart if I could not help my baby feel better.

Alright I'm tired of ranting, but I really did need to get though out of my system. For some reason I have not been able to shake this bad mood at all today, I can usually shake things off, especially since most of the things that are bothering me are not my issues but someone else, some one else's drama and problems. Although they are issues of people that I really care about, but they still should not have such an affect on me. I blame it on the fact that they all seemed to happen at the same time and the piling up on all the issues just pushed me over... That sounds reasonable right?