It seems that the nights that I just cant fall asleep no matter what I try are the nights when I need to work on healing.
Another night to look at all the hurt and pain that someone else caused me, to learn from it what I can, and to let it go. To release at least some of those huge chains that have been holding me down almost all of my life. For they are not mine to carry. They belong to those who made the mistakes, let them carry the weight of their sins and wrong doing for I will not anymore. I choose to be free of the weight of their bad choices.
Take hold of your chains, take the weight of your actions because it is not mine, and I will not carry it anymore.
Tonight I imagine each giving the huge heavy chain I've carried from each of my abusers back to them. Although I can not do it in person imagining still helps and is still a method of healing, it's the symbolism that matters most.
I still continue to look for answer to some of the problems I still have from all of that, but at least I am one more step closer.
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