Vallis! Yes!

I'm excited right now. I'm down visiting some of my favorite people. That guy and I had our chat last night, so we're on the same page now which is legit. My fears about the fact that I really only go for people that I know I can't have a serious relationship are totally confirmed once again! But I'm okay with this because at least I know realize it and thus can work on it. I know I still have lots of work to do. Although it also makes me happy that we can still hang out and whatnot without the stress of a relationship, especially that of a long distance one, and also allows me not to face some of my issues sooner than what I'm ready for. Which is also me being a wuss and putting them off a bit longer too. I'm not going to lie though, as much as I like to think I'd prefer a legit relationship, when it really comes down to it I'm still scared of them and still really prefer the casual shit.

 My ex, Dex, got in contact with me yesterday for reasons I'm still totally clueless about. So this guy majorly fucked up. We were really good friends before we started dating, he was an awesome guy, but when we were together, unknowing to me at the time, he decided to try heroin... and of course got addicted right away and turned into a total ass. Long story short things built and I was clueless as to why the change and eventually ended up leaving him at the coast during our trip there for my birthday and drove all the way home, thus ending the relationship. A few days after that he finally came to me and told me that he got addicted to heroin and it took me leaving him at the coast that day for him to realize how fast and far he had fallen. Which made everything make sense for me but also made me more angry because as I saw it he chose a high over me.With that said we haven't talked since then which was in March this year... so I'm pretty unsure about chatting with him now, plus it also brings up some of that old anger.

Anyways I'm way distracted right now so I'm going to call this it for now.