Damaged Goods

Part of healing sexually is changing what you believe your personal value is. On the outside I've always given off a very strong, high personal esteem. Although if I dig deeper I know it is not so, especially when we put it in the concept of sexual beliefs. My book "The Sexual Healing Journey" By Wendy Maltz gave 3 main false labels, mistaken conclusions that victims will associate themselves with. Just reading the titles of them hit really deep for me. "1: I am basically bad. 2: I'm a sexual object. 3: I'm damaged goods." Although each of these hit hard the last hits the hardest for me. There was a quote in this section that hit me every hard, something I've felt for a long time and very rarely admitted it to myself or anyone other. "I don't feel entitled to some very human things like love, a relationship, or marriage."
 I want a happy, healthy relationship. I love the idea of it, of having a companion. I would love to find my person and to enter into a marriage someday. I have almost always believed that such a thing would never be possible for me. I believed this to me the case so far to my core that I was utterly surprised when I ended up in the relationship with Quinn and for the first time actually loved someone in that romantic relationship way, and was loved back. For the first time I saw that I could have that. That I had a chance, and I wasn't too damaged. Which also made the loss of that relationship so much harder and took me so long to recover from. So far I haven't had anything close to it since, but I am still young and that is why I am on this journey. I need to find a way to break this belief that I am "damaged goods" that I am just an "object" not worthy of love, a relationship or marriage.
 These thoughts have been on my mind for the last 3 days, and every time I stop and really think about it again and bring up that term "damaged goods" it brings me to tears.